麻烦帮我看看,这段英语有没有错误Good morning,everyone!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I grad

麻烦帮我看看,这段英语有没有错误Good morning,everyone!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I grad
麻烦帮我看看,这段英语有没有错误
Good morning,everyone!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I graduated from Qingdao University.My major is about material.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2011.I spent most of my time on study,and I’ve passed CET-4 during my university.In March 2011,I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch.I am 23 years old,born in Ningbo.So I love everything and everybody in here.And that's why I came back in May 2012.
That’s all.Thank you for giving me the chance.

麻烦帮我看看,这段英语有没有错误Good morning,everyone!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I grad
写的不错,按照你的意思,简化了一点如下：（供参考）
Good morning, everyone! It is really my honor to have this interview. I hope I can make it good today as I'm confident that. Well, let me introduce myself now. I graduated from Qingdao University. My major is about material. And I graduated with bachelor degree in the year of 2011. I was used to spent most of my time on study, and I’ve ceritfied with CET-4 during my university time.In March 2011, I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch. I am 23 years old, born in Ningbo.
I love everything and everybody here. That's why I came back in May 2012.
That’s it. Thank you for your time

句子的主语i 过多，给人感觉不太舒服。多一些变化，效果会更好。祝你成功！

1,performance 可以改为impression on you
2My major is about material 可以改为my major is linked with material!
3.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2011.可以改为i graduate in...

全部展开

1,performance 可以改为impression on you
2My major is about material 可以改为my major is linked with material!
3.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2011.可以改为i graduate in 2011
4.I spent most of my time on study可以改为i was a conscencious student when i was in th univesity!
5.I began working for a company named Wuhu Conch.可以改为i start my career in the company whose name is wuhu conch!
6..So I love everything and everybody in here可以改为so i was favourably inclined towards the people and environment here

收起